Fictional account

I am thinking about writing a fiction book, about my real life career.  Here is something I wrote very quickly.  The idea for the book is to tell it from 1st person perspective, by each character in the book.  Read this sample, and tell me what you think.

Chapter 1 - Susan, or is it?

Hello.  My name is Susan, except that it isn't.  You see, I am afraid for anyone to know my real name.  I am embarrassed, scared and confused.  I have always felt controlled in my life.  I am a generally happy person with an attractive and successful husband.  I have 3 children.  2 boys and a girl.  My oldest is in college.  I am the envy of all my friends, and I have lots of friends. 

 

I am embarrassed, scared, and confused because my life is a lie.  I didn't realize it until last week.  I had suspicions before then, but I chose to ignore them.  Last week my husbands cell phone made an unusual sound.  My husband was in the shower at the time getting ready for a fundraiser we were about to attend.  I didn't really mean to, but I picked up my husbands phone to look at it.  There was a message on the screen.  I nearly collapsed when I saw what it said. 

Comments

[@Sherri_T4Tulsa]

What did it say? What did it say? OK, you got me hooked already. You simply must continue writing :-)

[cl0wnzee]

Interessting start, I'm already waiting for the next part/chapter.

Write instead of number in form of "2" and "3", two and three. And maybe try to combine two short sentences with an ","

-cl0wnzee

[Mr. Sting]

I am adding more to the story here.
http://www.squidoo.com/MrStingsFirstBookAttempt

[Serena]

I am interested to read more of this account as well.

[Steve]

I think it would be a great twist if his "girlfriend" wrote that she found out his wife was cheating! That would be the "Oh Sh_t" factor for the wife.

[kelly]

HAve you found a publisher for your book? All they need is a manuscript for consideration. :)